Yes, I’m still here, although you’d barely know it. It’s, well, March, as my four blog followers have pointed out to me. Many a day, nay, a week has passed without a post. So, Beth, Paul, Rob and, most of all, my husband, this tiptoeing back into the blogosphere is for you. Thanks for the kick in the butt.
What have I been up to? That’s a really good question. An excellent one, in fact. (Cue crickets chirping.) I’ve been working on a book. That is, when I’m not obsessing about the pup’s diet.
Or his attire.
Or spending time watching entirely too much TV…solely for the purpose of studying story development, of course. At this point, I have a PhD in television time suckage. It was Justified.
Or photographing an unruly bunch of critters for the holiday book that we do every year for our nieces and nephews.
So, as you can see, I’ve been very busy (just go with it).
And yet, that hasn’t stopped a certain d-bag delinquent from spamming my blog. Every day. Like it’s his job.
That’s right, Anonymous, I’m talking to you. You, by some diabolical computer program, has ensnared my innocent, quiet blog in your sticky marketing web. I’m not even sure what you’re peddling, as all your ineffective, spamish words point to some product or service that has no tie to anything relevant about anything I’ve written about (or, um, not written about). There’s a reason I have to moderate my comments before they’re posted, and that reason is you.
I’m here to tell you, Anonymous, that your come-hither product blather is indecipherable. Your prompts to check out your website, lackluster. Your marketing gimmick, impotent. As such, I’ve clicked on nothing, not one of your links. I’ve posted not one of your generic comments. You, Anonymous, can suck it.
And as far as those page views you’re generating for me when I’m not publishing a single word in new content, Anonymous? Well…um…
Ok, I’m just rethinking some things here on the fly. Some positions that I’ve taken might be a little hardline, a bit too unforgiving. Hope I haven’t offended you too much, Anonymous. I mean, when I say, “suck it,” what I’m really trying to say is Thank You.